end transmission...

He broke up with me...
I guess I am not good enough
for Patrick. *sigh*

I guess I am now an _xgirlfriend.

Goodbye to this journal filled of him...
Hello to all the things I really am.

broken...

& it hurts me.

I am thinking of leaving you...

You make no effort...
You make no time...

I don't know why we are together.
You break my heart more then anything.

Go back to Chico &
leave the memories of me behind.

happy birth-thanks-mas...

Thankful = Manda + ...

+ The yummy boys on Queer Eye For The Straight Guy
+ Having The Family Guy on DVD
+ my wonderful music
+ Jelly Bean (my black car)
+ heartbreak/pain
+ expensive new cell phone
+ all the eye candy @ school
+ Mommy Mom, Dad, Mateo & 'Ryan
+ The Deftones
+ having no friends
+ my brain & thoughts

gimpin' ain't easy!

I hurt my foot...
I can't walk!!!

I don't think I will go to school tomorrow!

i hate gimpin it...

I need you like I need a mother fucking asshole on my elbow... Right there... An asshole!

I am bored.

Currently:
- Crocheting a blanket
- Watching 'The Rules Of Attraction'
- Drinking coffee
- Bored...

So,
Come on over...
We can drink coffee!
"What do you need? A formal fucking invitation?"

alone for the weekend...

I am alone...

Mom, Dad & Orion went to Los Angeles to visit family.
I couldn't go.
Matt can't either.
We have work & school.

So I am alone this morning.
Talking to Christina on AOL.
She is helping me keep my sanity!
I need to finish writing her a letter.

I finished that lame English paper.
Patrick called the other night.
We got into an argument.
I almost hung up on him.
I don't like people to yell @ me.

My teacher wants a copy of
a poetry review I did this month.
She wants to send a copy to the poet.
She talked to me about my silly teenage
dream of being an English Major.
She told me that it's the most respected
major on any campus. I smiled!

My goals this weekend:
- Clean up my room
- Donate that yarn
- Clean Jelly Bean
- Visit galleries

love...

Dearest Patrick Star,

I love you so much...
<3<3<3<3
I hope you realize that!



Love always,
Manda Bear

hate...

i cant find a topic to write about
for my English class...


i just don't want to do it anymore...
i don't care if I fail!!!

art...

So...

On Friday,
I am thinking of
taking my Mommy Mom
to some Art Galleries.

I have to do it for my
wonderful Ceramics class.
We will be off to:

-Exploding Head Gallery
(My teacher has some
art on display there)
-Crocker Art Museum
(I am required to go here!)

Oh yea,
I am now officially on the pill!!!

sad...

Patrick is in the hospital...
I am so freaking out...
I wish I had someone to talk to.

*sigh*
I wrote something in his journal

Dearest Patrick...

By the time you read this, I will be gone.
Back to Sacto... Trying to make it one more week.
Every time, I wish I could live in your closet,
just so I could be close to you.
I truly hope that you are feeling better.
I hope that your hospital visit wasn't all that bad.
I am sorry that I started to cry tonight.
I just care so much for you.
I never want to see you in any sort of pain.
I wish I could take any pain away
so you would never have to feel bad again.
I love you so fucking much...
I think I would die if anything
bad were to happen to you...

I love you more then cats love catnip...


-your forever and always,
Amanda///

PS:
I cleaned up your apartment a bit...
I hope you don't mind.

I would die for Patrick///
[& I honestly would]

heart...

Thursday
makes my heart
go pitter patter...



This is all...

Useless random...

So I am here...

Working on nothing. Well, actually a paper that should have been done on Tuesday. I should also be working on my argumentative essay due next Tuesday. But I am gonna procrastinate like usual. I am actually doing some people watching. I like to see how people live life. I see things I wish I was or could be. Like the pretty girls, people with friends, some older lady walked past me wearing bell bottoms... I think that's kinda cute in a scary way.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

I hate people who touch me to get past me. Why don't you squeeze your fat ass thru the chairs and DON'T touch me!!!

More later...
There is a Nazi!

jealous...

I am so
extremely jealous
of how squishy cute
Jessicka & Trevor are!

I wish I had a
boyfriend just
like
that.

*sigh*

tattoo...

http://japaneseculture.about.com/bl50kanji_hoshi.htm


my future tattoo...

what do you think?

i am back...

A list of
randomness
in the world
of Manda...


I:


-Realized that I don't really like Halloween as much as I once did.
-Need to get more sleep now.
-Still have not had my period. For all you that are counting, this makes 3 months and no crimson wave.
-Had a foreign exchange student in our house. He was from Japan.
-Found out that my Ceramics teacher also crochets.
-Went to an awesome poetry reading yesterday afternoon @ school. I ended up buying 3 books by him and had them signed. I mainly went for extra credit for English 300.
-Need to see a show. I might go on Friday night to see the Start hopefully with lj user incusnatch.
-My parents and brother are going to the Bay Area to see a Motorcycle show for the weekend. This means no one @ home!!!
-My birthday is coming up soon. I could actually careless!
-My Brother {Orion} turned 14 on Sunday... Dad turns 44 on Saturday.

Any who, This is all for now... There is a line to use this computer so I better high-tail it.